Monday, August 27, 2007

The Garden

Welcome to Lily's garden of horrors, to the cesspool of my mind and the well of tears in my heart.
I'm actually not miserable all of the time. In fact I have an alter ego, The Cheesemeister, who expresses my comedic side. I don't share much of that work, however. It isn't saleable, it's completely off the wall, it's inflammatory, and most people just plain don't get it. It is, however, a stress reliever (in some ways a life saver) and I need to be able to do it without being attacked.
When I say I have an "alter ego," I suppose that I should qualify that Lily Strange is actually an alter ego as well. That isn't my real name, in case it wasn't obvious. I do not have dissociative identity disorder, but I do have what I consider something of a fractured personality. "I" am always conscious of what's going on and "I" am always in control of my actions. Both Lily and the Cheesemeister are something akin to what "Alice Cooper" the psychotic character is to Alice Cooper the person, aka Vincent Furnier. The "real" Alice Cooper is a nice guy, a good son, a loving husband and father, AND he plays golf, the world's most boring game ever! (Sorry golfers.) "Alice Cooper" on the other hand is a seething cesspit of sociopathology. He is definitely not a nice guy, he probably killed both of his parents with an axe, he eats children, and he hates golf. This is why he doesn't get to come out and play except on stage.
We've all got a bit of Alice Cooper in us.
In real life I'm a very boring 42 year old mom who is proud of her son and trys (but falls short) to help her aging parents. I like to cook--as long as it isn't stuff that's supposed to turn out looking pretty and it doesn't take a long time to prepare. I go to work at night in a retirement community. I don't go out much. I like to play board games. And I like to read. I'm liberal in both the religious and political sense, but I do have some pretty strict guidelines for myself. I deal with having bipolar disorder. I'm fighting an ongoing battle with my weight--usually my weight wins. I have a great face for radio. And other than the fact that I talk to ghosts, I'm really a pretty big bore of a human being. I'm not going to talk a lot about my real life here.
Of course the "real me" and the alter egos do share things in common. We love to read horror novels and watch horror films. I will talk about that here. I've been studying metaphysics for a number of years. I'll talk about metaphysical topics here. And if anyone would like to request a divination, click on my email address. I can do it privately through Pay Pal for $25 for a question, or I can do it here for free. I promise not to use your name or to call or email your family members.
"Hey guess what, Mrs. Plodovsky! Your son just wrote me asking me to do a reading to see if his romantic affair with the family sheep was real love or just barnyard lust! For only 10,000 dollars, I promise not to tell the local newspaper!"
Only kidding. And please--if you have this problem, don't ask me about it.
This gives you some idea of my sense of humor and why it's best kept hidden.
I have a couple of other blogs. One is for the purpose of sharing the book I have written, and hopefully enticing people to buy said book. The other is to talk about the hideously boring and frustrating end of being an author: promotion and web page design. Ick, ick, ick! I do not have the money (YET!) to hire a publicist or a web designer. I have a crap web design program, am not in any way an HTML sorceress, and do not yet have the money to purchase Dream Weaver. But it shall be mine...oh yes!
I know I come off as snarky. I am snarky. I'm a huge curmudgeon. But I don't bite unless provoked. I don't necessarily expect people to believe that I can talk to ghosts, but I do expect anyone who disagrees to behave in a mature and polite fashion towards both myself and other commenters. Comments are moderated and if I think the commenter is simply an immature ass or looking to start trouble, their comment will be deleted. I don't tolerate trolls. I don't expect ass kissing, but I try to be generally polite and I expect others to do the same. I sometimes deal with sensitive subject matter and I expect a modicum of sensitivity from those who choose to comment on it. I hate to come off like an asshole, but sometimes one has to be an asshole to protect themselves from people who get some sort of lame kick out of being mean-spirited. I took my Cheesemeister blogs underground because of a moron of that kind. I will not do that in this case. "I" am very sensitive and easily hurt. "Lily," on the other hand, is perfectly capable of dismissing what she considers inane comments (and inane commenters.) While generally polite, if she thinks somebody is an idiot she could care less about offending them.
The spirit that I wrote the book with has dissociative identity disorder, and I have bipolar disorder. While we don't mind a bit of mild teasing regarding mental health issues, we will not tolerate disparaging remarks about people who are mentally ill. Hate speech of any kind will in fact not be tolerated.
Generally I (Lily) will be the person to answer any questions. If you ask the ghost something directly, one of his personalities will try to answer. This is at your own risk. If the snarky protector personality thinks the question is stupid, he will say so and I will convey whatever he says. If he thinks the question is really stupid, he simply won't answer it. Also, keep in mind that I don't consider myself a professional medium and though I have a fair level of accuracy, I can misinterpret things. I can't tell you things like what his favorite toy was as a child (particularly since his protector personality is likely to say something like his pet weasel) or the name of his best friend. I'm not good at picking up names/initials or exact dates, and my hat is off to any medium who is adept in this area. I pick up emotions and what I call "pure thought." Details are sometimes lost to me.
You can read more about the book, the ghost, and me at the official Lily Strange website. You can marvel at my great web design skills...or my lack thereof.
All right, enough of this. I'm going to start sharing some of the things I enjoy. I hope you like them too. If you do, feel free to say so. If you don't, you may also feel free to say so. But do it in a respectful fashion.


Rashkha said...

It's great to see you have a Garden of Horrors!Who knows what might grow here?

Lily Strange said...

Thank you! Hopefully it will grow more flowers than weeds. Evil flesh eating poisonous flowers--but flowers nonetheless!